The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who worked in palliative care for several years, routinely spent the last 12 weeks of her patients' lives with them.She listened to their stories and recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai.

She later compiled these stories into a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which became an international bestseller.

According to Ware, these were her patients' greatest regrets…

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the single most common regret. Ware found that many folks get caught up in what well-meaning parents, children, spouses, mentors or bosses want for them. Consequently, they find it impossible to – as Joseph Campbell put it – follow their bliss. Few things are more important than finding your own path – and accepting the responsibilities and obligations that come with it. However, it can take courage and determination to overcome the expectations of family, co-workers or "society." The dying remind us that our time here is shorter than we think. Health grants us the freedom to pursue our dreams. Once it's gone, we lose the ability to live the life that we've imagined.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I know what Ware is saying here, but I wish she'd phrased it differently. Many people find meaning, purpose and even a sense of identity in their work. It often leads to a feeling of earned success. Hard work can be one of life's great satisfactions, especially if it provides you with an opportunity to express your talents. So I would venture that working hard is not what the dying regret but rather working too much and losing balance in their lives. Workaholics often sacrifice so much for so little. A simpler, less materialistic lifestyle, for instance, enables shorter working hours, greater freedom and more leisure.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. This isn't the case for everyone, I'm sure. (I've known folks who hardly have an unspoken thought.) But others go through life with their opinions and emotions bottled up inside, often just to keep the peace. This is not only frustrating but also makes the individual feel like he or she is living a lie. Ware points out that, while you can't control the reactions of others, speaking honestly either raises a healthy relationship to a higher level or eliminates an unhealthy one. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. As we go through life, we never stop making new acquaintances. But in my experience, old friends are irreplaceable. These are the men and women who have known us longer and better than anyone… yet choose to hang out with us anyway. Even golden friendships fade with inattention or neglect, however. And near the ends of our lives, it may not be possible to find them.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. It's sad how many people realize only at the ends of their lives that happiness is an inside job – an attitude, not a particular set of circumstances. Worry and regret can poison a life and diminish the only time you have to be happy: right now. For it is always the present moment.